News & Opinions
News & Opinions
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Op-Ed: Yankee, Can We Please Just Go Home – It's time to Focus on Us | Hugh Fisher | July 9, 2026
Op-Ed: We the people are the media now | Stephen P. Robertson | July 9, 2026
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Outside Money in the 2026 Primary, Part Three | Montgomery Perspective | Adam Pagnucco | July 3, 2026
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Trump Accounts officially launch one year after being signed into law | Washington Examiner | Zach Halaschak, Christian Datoc | July 4, 2026, 6:00 am
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Justice Department threatens Maryland’s top election official with criminal charges | Maryland Matters | Bryan P. Sears | July 8, 2026, 7:40 pm
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Republicans blast special session on redistricting, saying crime and budget crisis ignored | FOX 45 News | Jeff Abell | July 7, 2026, 10:24 pm
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Want Another 250 Years? Reject Socialism’s Hostility to Property Rights | Washington Examiner | Randolph May | July 6, 2026, 8:00 am
Socialism, Communism Explained
Dear Ann Landers:
I am an inner city English teacher, and my students are reading George Orwell's "1984." I am having a difficult time explaining communism, socialism and fascism to my students without giving a full-blown, time-consuming history lesson. I recall you printed a humorous column some time ago explaining these concepts using cows as examples. Will you please print it again for my students? I'm sure it will kick-start a lively class discussion. I'd appreciate your help. -- A Teacher in Mississippi
Dear Mississippi Teacher:
Thank you for asking. It's an "oldie," but a "goldie." Here it is:
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Socialism: |
You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor. |
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Communism: |
You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they may give you some of the milk. |
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Fascism: |
You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it. |
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Nazism: |
You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows. |
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Anarchism: |
You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow. |
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Capitalism: |
You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull. |
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Surrealism: |
You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonica lessons. |
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