By Lori Jaffe (with apologies to Jay Ward and his team.)
It was a lazy August afternoon in MoCo. Kidney and Lloyd, two moon men who had recently landed on earth, were bored and looking for something to do.
Lloyd: “Hey Kidney, what do you want to do today?”
Kidney: “Oh I don’t know Lloyd, what do you think?”
Lloyd: “So far we’ve had a fun time here on earth. But now that things have settled down, life is pretty boring.”
Kidney: “I know what you mean Lloyd, we need to think.”
And so they thought, and they thought some more…
Lloyd: “I know, the mid-term elections are coming up. What do you say we create a politician?”
Kidney: “I don’t know Lloyd, don’t they have enough of those in this county?”
Lloyd: “But this one will be different!”
Kidney: “Different? What do you mean Lloyd?”
Lloyd: “He will be a covert Socialist! “
Kidney: “A Socialist? You mean like Marc Elrich?”
Lloyd: “No Kidney, Elrich admits to being a Democrat Socialist. We will create a politician who acts like a Democrat Socialist but doesn’t call himself one. He tries to hide his identity.”
Kidney: “But why a covert Socialist?”
Lloyd: “Well, you know how we are always trying to keep the earthlings from coming to the moon?”
Kidney: “Yes, they keep cluttering our home with their stuff. Makes a real mess.”
Lloyd: “Well, if we can create more Socialists down here and maybe even in other areas on earth, the earthlings will fight among themselves. And if the Socialists take over, just imagine the bureaucratic red tape!"
Kidney: “Yes, and if history is any judge, it will lead to dire outcomes for the earthlings. They will be so weakened that they won’t even try to go into space anymore! What do we need to do?”
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Lloyd: “We can use Artificial Intelligence to get the recipe and then we can mix the ingredients up in our lab. Come on Kidney, let’s go!”
And so the two moon men went off to their laboratory.
Inside the lab, they worked to come up with a recipe.
Inside the lab, they worked to come up with a recipe.
Lloyd: “Let’s see, we’re in Montgomery County, Maryland, where the majority of voters are Democrats. So let’s say that he’s a Democrat, and a minority, that would help. Quick – who can we model him after?”
Kidney: “I know! Barak Obama!”
Lloyd: “Perfect! How about this? We use the same background narrative. It’s pure political gold. Remember, he needs to have strong socialist tendencies.”
Kidney: “How about we look at the Democrat Socialists of America’s program?”
Lloyd: “Yes, Kidney, you do have a good idea every once in a while.”
So they looked at the DSA’s program and decided to add a few DSA ideas into the recipe:
Lloyd: “We must introduce the concepts slowly, so as not to turn off the voters.”
Kidney: “Check.”
And with that Kidney started to type into the computer.
As he typed, links to web pages started to appear. Kidney and Lloyd looked at each other in amazement.
Kidney: “You mean, such a politician already exists in Montgomery County?”
Lloyd: “Yes, I guess so. Looks like we won’t have to go through the trouble of creating him.”
Kidney: “Will Jawando. Hmm, good name. Just what we wanted. A stealth Socialist to hold up the earthlings’ progress. He’s got a lot of endorsements from the political Left, including Marc Elrich. But it says here that Jawando is a ‘progressive.’”
Lloyd: “Yes, but we know what will really happen, don’t we?”
Kidney: “We sure do. Socialism will hold them back for generations!”
And the two moon men danced with glee.
The two moon men danced with glee.
Chat GPT and this image were used to create images.
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Lori Jaffe is the Party Secretary for the Montgomery County Republican Central Committee, and Member of the Executive Board. She can be reached at [email protected]