The townsman and his Goose
By Lori Jaffe (with apologies to Aesop)
here was once a townsman who owned a wonderful Goose. The townsman was very proud of the Goose’s beautiful white feathers. But he was astounded when he learned that the Goose laid gilded eggs! The eggs were precious, so he carefully hid them for safekeeping. He planned to use them to support his family. It was very expensive to live in the Kingdom of MoCo and it seemed that the Royal Government always wanted more.
Yes, it was once again time to discuss The Royal Budget Matter, which was causing great turmoil in the Kingdom. The Royal Coffers were once again depleted, and King Marc of Elrich was worried about where he could scrounge more funds. He invited his fellow Royals, Sir Will of Jawando and Lady Natali of Fani-Gonzalez to the castle to try to figure it out.
King Marc, Sir Will, and Lady Natali try to figure it out.
“It’s obvious, we’ll just raise their property taxes again!” declared King Marc.
“Your Majesty, if you please, we have done that many times and the townsfolk are complaining bitterly,” said Lady Natali. “With my proposed budget approach, we can finally deliver a progressive income tax.”
“Your Highness, I agree with Lady Natali about the property tax.” explained Sir Will. “Let’s just tax the rich! They’re used to it!”
“But Sir Will, we must be careful what we say,” said Lady Natali. “The rich are leaving the Kingdom. Every week there is talk of more and more townspeople moving to kingdoms where they can actually enjoy their wealth.”
Just then the Royal Bookkeeper appeared. He cleared his throat.
The Royal Bookkeeper unrolled a long parchment.
The Royal Bookkeeper had spent many hours going over the books again and again, trying to find a way out of The Royal Budget Matter. He unrolled a long parchment which showed the details. The Matter was really not a money problem; it was a spending problem.
“Your majesty, I am sorry for the intrusion, but I am only doing my due diligence to again point out that you need to be more discerning about how you spend…”
“Silence!” cried King Marc. “What have I told YOU time and time again?! We must keep our TRADITION!!
At that, the Royal Bookkeeper cowered. “Yes, Majesty, I understand,” and he shuffled away.
And of course, they all knew what the King meant. There had been a very long tradition in the Kingdom of the Annual Royal Contest. During the Contest, two groups competed to see which side could kick a cup down the road the farthest. The winner would have his way with the Royal Bank Account. The contestants were always the same, the Royal School Board Representative would compete against the Royal Bookkeeper. But of course, the Royal School Board Representative was always a young athletic boy, about age twelve, who had no trouble kicking the cup quite easily. The poor Bookkeeper, much older and wracked with the gout, never stood a chance. And so, the tradition held, and every year, the Royal Government gave the School Board all the money they desired. So, in order to refill the Coffers, the Royal Government demanded more and more taxes from the townsfolk. This seemed quite reasonable to the Royals but quite unreasonable to the townsfolk.
The Bookkeeper tries to kick the cup down the road.
Just then, Sir Thomas of Taylor appeared at the door. Although he had been appointed to take charge of the school system, he generally sided with the School Board.
“Excuse me,” Your Majesty, “but I bring you some news which may solve all our financial difficulties! “
“Oh, and what’s that?”
“Well, there is talk of a townsman who owns a Goose that lays gilded eggs. He has been paying his taxes with them. It’s caused quite a stir at the Royal Tax Office.”
“I can imagine,” said the King, as a grin played upon his lips. “Thank you, Sir Thomas, we’ll take this under advisement.”
And Sir Thomas went on his way.
“Ha! Our problems are solved!” cried King Marc, rubbing his hands together. “We’ll just confiscate this Goose and take the gilded eggs for ourselves!”
“Yes! Tax the Rich!” shouted Sir Will.
“Well, if it will solve our problems and allow us to continue our policies, I’m all for it,” agreed Lady Natali.
So, the King summoned the Royal Weasel to find the townsman and bring him and the Goose to the castle.
The Royal Weasel
But a little mouse, who had overheard everything, beat the weasel to the townsman’s cottage. He tipped off the Goose as to what the Royal Government planned to do.
The little mouse tipped off the Goose.
So, when the Weasel got to the cottage, there was no one home, there was no Goose and there were no gilded eggs. For yes, the Goose had warned the townsman. And so, the townsman took his family and the Goose and fled to a sunnier kingdom, where they lived happily ever after.
oral: Those who have plenty want more and so lose all they have.
ChatGPT was used to create the images in this article.
Original picture sources were: Elrich, Fani-Gonzalez, Jawando.
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Lori Jaffe is the Party Secretary for the Montgomery County Republican Central Committee, Member of the Executive Board, and co-publisher of the MCGOP Newsletter. She can be reached at [email protected]